Friday, September 2, 2011

It's not funny when it hurts people

There's a Facebook 'game' that has people in an uproar. It's upsetting to me and some of my friends. I know other people have blogged/written about this on their blogs, but I feel like I should as well, even though I have a very small readership.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's the Breast Cancer Awareness 'game' where you post in your status whatever the rules say. In the past it's been the color of your bra or where you like your purse (which, to the unknowing reader, seemed crude). This year it makes it seem like the poster is pregnant and craving a certain candy, dependent upon when their birthday is. To some it might seem like a funny joke to get people thinking you're pregnant when you're not. To those who are struggling to even get pregnant or get a baby, I assure you it definitely ISN'T funny. It's yet another reminder of what you want, but for whatever reason you can't have. It's not a joke, it's hurtful. For those who are lucky and have never had to struggle with IF (InFertility), you can't understand how it is to be on the other side. The one who ALL you want is a baby of your own, the one who has to see pregnant bellies everywhere, hear people complain about their children, and/or read posts about pregnancies on Facebook. Each of these things tears their heart out in a different way. Each of these things causes distress. We want to be happy and supportive, but we mourn what we still don't have with each happy 'announcement'. (Yes, I realize I have a baby, but I still count myself as part of this group because of our past experiences, and we have no idea what the future has in store).

Besides the pain these kinds of statuses can cause, what the heck does it have to do with cancer awareness? How is it educating anyone or doing the cause any kind of good? I assure you that cancer is already something people are aware of, some more than they'd like. Most people I know know someone close to them who've had it, I know many who've had it and conquered it, or died from it. I guarantee they aren't getting any extra help from this game.

I'm sure I have more thoughts rattling in my head, but that's it for now. I don't mean this to offend anyone, I only mean it to educate those who don't know or understand why it's so upsetting. Maybe some still won't get it because it's hard to know unless you've been in those shoes. All I ask is for a little sensitivity to those who need it, and for people to at least TRY to understand.

7 comments:

EBeauty03 said...

I don't really know how it feels, not like you, Maren, and others, but I have a small glimpse of it. Honestly, I ignore the posts and I would never of guessed THAT is what the posts were about! Brest cancer support in the form of a number and candy? Doesn't make any sense to me.

Jules, I'm sorry about all your struggles and the struggles of SO many out there. I hope you know you have MY support and understanding. Some people just don't think how what they say or do will affect others.

Thanks for the post!

Loughmillers said...

I agree. After loosing Brooklynne, it was hard to see people pregnant or even see them with their newborns. I tried going to church but everybody is pregnant there and it was still hard for me. After I went to see my doctor a couple weeks ago to find out why it is taking so long for me to get pregnant, I thought it would be a little easier, but it's not. I hate that game. What does it have to do with breast cancer any ways?

Kateka said...

Luckily I didn't see any of those facebook posts (I've been a bit on the "ignorining facebook" page for a little bit - I mean I'll check any notifications, or look at friends stuff, but rarely am I scrolling through everyone status's to see what's up) BUT, I did hear about this "game" and thought it was sooo insensitive. Thanks for standing up for what you know is right, whether people get it or not. You're awesome!

Kimberlyn said...

Amen! People will never truly get it, unless they have been in your shoes.

Becky said...

I can see your reasons and I agree with you that the game on Facebook is inappropriate. I also think this sort of game to raise awareness of breast cancer is completely displaced. Breast Cancer awareness month is OCTOBER...as in NEXT MONTH. September is Childhood cancer awareness, gynecologic cancer awareness, leukemia and lymphoma awareness, ovarian cancer awareness, prostate cancer awareness, and thyroid cancer awareness. Why has it become so trendy and popular to raise awareness for Breast Cancer (which is, by the way, the only cancer awareness for October)? These women post inappropriately a month early to draw attention to one cancer while 7 other cancers are ignored all month long.

Camille said...

I'm so sorry for your struggles Julilanna and that you're reminded it every day and everywhere from places like Facebook. Some people don't even think about it and for all of them I apologize. I understand it's hard. I hope you know you have my support. Stay strong and stay close to the Gospel!

Angela said...

I wrote up something about this too. I didn't like the previous two years' "games," but this one was downright insensitive, especially because a lot of times the drugs they give you as part of your cancer treatment can make you infertile, so that's another low blow to those these dumb statuses were supposedly "helping."