The wave

I've been debating if I should write about this or not. I don't want to come off ungrateful, rude, insensitive, too sensitive, whiney, etc. but this has been weighing on me and I'm hoping writing about it will get it out of my head. And besides, it's not like that many people actually read my blog.

The wave is upon us. The wave of pregnancy announcements, that is. They're all around me. Friends, family, neighbors, acquaintances. Everywhere I look someone is announcing a new baby. It's very exciting, I'm truly happy for them (ok, most of them). But it's also very depressing. People are on their 2nd pregnancies since I had Ella. Yes, SECOND pregnancy and she's almost 3. I'm jealous. I'm sad. I'm frustrated. I'm trying to stay brave and count my blessings. I'm so incredibly grateful for Ella, don't get me wrong, but she's at the point where she needs a sibling, and I'm feeling like someone is missing from my heart.
I know there are so many others that don't have what I have, I hurt for them as well, and it makes me feel bad, almost greedy, to want another baby so badly when they are working so hard just to have one. I know how that feels, I was there once.
There's not much anyone can do to help me. The announcements just sting, especially when it's from people 'close' to you and you aren't given the courtesy of a heads-up, instead you're blind-sided by the news from someone who should have had the decency and known to let you know so the public announcement wouldn't hurt as much. Strangely when those courtesy heads-up notes are given, the announcement doesn't hurt as much, or at all.
Now, I don't mean for people to start walking on eggshells around me, but here's a tip: if you're pregnant and have a close friend who is having infertility problems (even if they pretend to be ok), PLEASE give them the courtesy of a heads-up before you make your big announcement on Facebook, in a public gathering, or wherever. It might be hard, but it could save your relationship and gain you respect for doing so.
Obviously this is a hot topic for me. I've had a bad couple of weeks. On top of finding out I'm still not pregnant after my pills gave me all the symptoms, I'm waiting to find out if I have glaucoma. I'm trying not to worry about that, but it scares me to think I may have to be on meds the rest of my life so I don't go blind.

Well, now that's out in the open hopefully I'll feel a little lighter. And hopefully I haven't offended anyone, I'm not especially good with the whole 'written-word' thing.

Pinterest & Breakfast

I've decided to start documenting the things I've tried from Pinterest. There will be some entries that won't have pics because I don't always take shots of everything I do :/
FYI-The title of each thing I try will be linked to the site with the recipe.

I'll start with Apple Breakfast Rings
I didn't make them with the recipe shown, I just used the idea and went from there. We loved them. I accidentally cooked them without the cinnamon, but they were really yummy without it (and awesome with). The apples don't get completely cooked through, just a little tender. I made a basic pancake batter, cut up 1 apple for the 'test' and made regular pancakes with the remaining batter. Mine ended up looking more pancake-y than the ones on the website, too.
I will be making these again, I suggest you try them out as well!

Next up:
Chocolate Swirl Biscuits
I made these with my little helper, they took much longer than expected but were still tasty. I had to keep reminding myself they were BISCUITS, therefore flaky and not very sweet. I baked them for the shortest time given, but I think I'd take a minute or two off of that as they seemed a bit too crunchy. Also, chopping chocolate takes awhile, and it gets a little messy, so be prepared for that if you want to try this recipe out.

I hope this was helpful, let me know if you have questions or suggestions, etc!

'THAT' question

You know, the one the comes up after this,
"How old is your daughter now?" says a random person
"Over 2 now" we answer.
Then comes 'THAT' question...
"When are you going to have another one?"

I have to add here that since we moved 2 years ago, most people don't know everything we went through to get Ella. I can't be offended by people being curious, unless it's coming from someone who DOES know better (which, of course, HAS happened).

Back to the 'conversation'...
Our answer, every time (without even talking about it with each other) is:
"Whenever Heavenly Father sends one down".
It's not up to us, never really has been. We're doing what we can, talked to the Dr., I'm taking the pills I need to when I need to. We'll get our next baby when we're supposed to, I/we have faith in that.

So, if you're one of the curious people out there, now you have your answer and we'll all be in limbo for a bit together.

Cruise 2012!

Our cruise was only over a month ago, I'm not THAT behind, right ?;) At the end of Feb. we dropped Ella off with my parents (who had her for half the time, then passed her on to Jer's parents, she was spoiled while we were gone, and the grandparents had withdrawals when we came back!) and drove to Cali with some friends to cruise on the Carnival Splendor. We had an AWESOME time! But I missed my girl. I looked at pictures and video of her to get my "Ella fix" for the day. We had a day at sea, 2 days in Cabo, 1 day in Puerto Vallarta, and 2 more days at sea. I wouldn't recommend days at sea unless you're in a group that can entertain you!

We didn't spend ALL our time with them, but those days at sea were so much more fun than I expected. In Cabo we spent our days shopping and lounging on the beaches

A little love on Lover's Beach

How do you like my Henna tattoo?

Such a weird name for a jewelry store! In Puerto Vallarta we found a tour guide, Oscar, who took us for the entire day and drove us to the Eden Canopy Tour It's where the movie "Predator" was filmed (not that I've seen it). It's gorgeous there, and zip-lining across the valley between the mountains was amazing! Jer and I are both afraid of heights, but this was so much fun and the rain forest below was gorgeous. We recommend Puerto Vallarta if you're ever down there. We wished the cruise would have been there for 2 days and only 1 day in Cabo. It's such a beautiful town, very clean and organized, and the sellers aren't pushy like they are in Cabo. We joked with our friends that we should buy a little vacation house down there.

Formal nights were fun too. I don't have the chance to get all dressed up and fancy very often (not that I'm very fancy here), but since the cruise was a week long, we got to dress up twice!

Since my birthday was right before we went on the cruise, they surprised me with (another) dessert and sang to me!

Can't forget about our super nice waiter Marion, from our talks, that job wouldn't be very easy if you got a bunch of jerks that you had to deal with every single night, eek!

Ella had another birthday!

I'm so behind in posting anything that's been going on, but I thought I'd start with Ella's birthday! She turned 2 on March 26th! We didn't do anything big (like last year). We just had the grandparents over for cake and presents and Ella seemed to be fine with that. She was so cute and confused when we sang to her, I just LOVE this girl! I have video of it, but I can't figure out how to load it :( She knows the letter's sounds, she counts with me sometimes, she loves to jump on the bed and climb on and off the toilet. She's got major attitude and throws a couple of tantrums a day. She talks a ton and loves to be my little helper (even though what she does usually isn't exactly helpful). She knows I like to cuddle, so she's become the little manipulator with that. At bed time when we're trying to put her in her crib, she'll start saying "no, I wanna cuddle with mommy on couch, cuddle mommy on couch". It's hard to say no to her, but we do most of the time. It's also super adorable when she says, "hold you? hold you?" makes me feel so loved. She gives wonderful big hugs with her cute little arms. She likes butterfly, Eskimo, and fishy kisses. She likes to take my drinks as her own, then share sips with me :) I don't know what I'd do without her in my life!

As you can see, she enjoyed her birthday cupcakes, and made sure to lick the ones she wasn't holding so no one else would eat them! She got some great gifts this year too: From her Auntie RaKell she got a cute swimsuit and cover up, some fun books, butterfly stuff, and bubble stuff. It's been so windy we haven't been able to play with the bubbles, but she keeps reminding me about them every day! From her Keller grandparents she got a hand-made apron (in the picture) and some fleece hand-made squishy balls (my mom is so talented!) From her Thorne grandparents she got a magna-doodle (I think that's what it's called), a cute little dress, and some comb-looking blocks. From us she got an activity table (in the picture), some jammies, and some Sesame Street books (she's a big fan of Elmo all of a sudden). Happy Birthday little girl, but please stop growing up so fast!!

I'm sorry for the weird alignment of my posts, I write them one way, but they publish all together. Not sure how to fix that :/

My 'Appy' story

I'm mostly writing this so I don't forget what happened. It's probably not going to be a super interesting post, and there aren't going to be any pics. You've been warned. I had my appendix removed last night, and it's not even what was causing my pain. Here's the story. It all began Tues. afternoon when I was driving home from my sister-in-law's. We'd had a fun pizza lunch with one of my other sisters-in-law, all our kids, and my mom. Afterward, as I neared my parent's house (to drop off my mom), I started to get pains in my lower abdomen, they progressively got worse after I left my parent's and headed home. I was white-knuckled towards the end, and when I pulled in the garage I called Jer to come out and get Ella because the pain was so bad. I could barely breathe and move. I went inside and laid down for about an hour and a half and the pain seemed to lessen so I got up to rejoin my little family. The pain started back up again, which made it hard to hold Ella because she kept pushing right where it hurt most. We did our bed-time routine and Jer had to do most of it since I couldn't move very well, which broke my heart because Ella kept reaching and asking for me :( After she was in bed I realized we needed to go somewhere to figure out what was wrong, so Jer called his mom to come over and 'watch' Ella while we went to Urgent Care or the ER. We ended up going to the ER at the U of U medical center in Daybreak because it's so close. Luckily we did because Urgent Care wouldn't have had the testing stuff we needed. We got there around 8:30 and the waiting room was empty, so we signed in and were taken to a room. The Dr. came in and asked a bunch of questions and pushed on my stomach. They put in an IV with fluids and pain meds in it (after 2 tries, ouch), did a pregnancy test (negative), an ultra-sound, x-rays, and a CT Scan. First thing they ruled out was a tubal pregnancy (which I was a little afraid it would be), the other things they thought it might be was my appendix or an ovarian cyst burst (which doesn't leave any evidence after bursting). I had a fever of 101. They found that I had fluid in my lower abdomen, and couldn't see all of my appendix. After awhile they decided they'd better send me to a hospital where there were surgeons and more equipment on hand at that time of night, so we headed to the U of U Hospital in SLC around 1 a.m. Even though I was in pain, I was just wishing we hadn't even gone and that I was still home in bed, I was feeling SO awful. We could have taken an ambulance to the hospital, but for some reason I just really felt like we shouldn't, so Jer drove us. The U has an awesome network and staff, we just handed them my papers and they took us directly to a room. There was a lot of waiting around, but it wasn't like we had anything else to do. I saw a bunch more Dr's and surgical teams and Gyno teams, all trying to help us figure out what was wrong. I was more thirsty than I think I've ever been, but I couldn't have any water or ice because they didn't know if I'd need surgery. They did another ultrasound on me, trying to see more of my appendix but they couldn't. All they could figure was that it was only slightly enlarged, not enough for it to be appendicitis. After more waiting they put me in an extension of the ER. My parents stopped by and my dad and Jer gave me a blessing. They left and there was more waiting so Jer went home for awhile to do some stuff. While he was gone the surgeons came in and suggested that they go ahead and do surgery so they could take a look around inside to see what the problem could be, and they'd take out my appendix no matter what. This freaked me out and I was crying (because Jer wasn't with me and they'd just given me more pain meds which made me super emotional and I didn't want surgery because I knew that would limit how I could care for Ella). I waited to make the decision when Jer got back and we figured it would be better to be safe than sorry. I went down to get prepped for surgery around 7 p.m. and came out around 9. Everything went well, they didn't find anything wrong. My appendix even looked fine, but it was removed anyway. I was wheeled to a room where we could settle in for the night. I had cuff/sleeve things on my calves that would fill up with air and let it out to keep from clotting, and a breathing apparatus to make sure I didn't get pneumonia. After I got comfortable, I made a list for Jer and sent him home so he could get some good sleep and bring me my stuff in the morning. And FINALLY I was able to eat. Starting with water, jello, and crackers, then some toast. It had been 32 hours since I'd eaten and what a relief it was to finally get food in my stomach again. And luckily it didn't make me sick. I didn't sleep very well, kept waking up about every hour through the night, but my pain was more under control so that made a difference. They brought me French toast and a banana for breakfast. I swear the toast had pepper on it, it was odd. The nurses took good care of me all through the night, and after the shift change my new nurses were just as nice (which if you've read/heard any of my other surgery stories, this is a big deal). Jer came back and brought my stuff so I could feel more human (my own jammies, deodorant after a paper towel bath, and a ponytail holder). We took a couple of slow walks through the halls to help my circulation, and he napped while we waited for me to be released. They brought me a surprisingly tasty lunch of grilled chicken caesar salad, roll, tapioca, and a chocolate. I had a lot of messages on FB and texts expressing concern and asking if we needed help, it was so nice of so many people to care and worry. I was released around 1:30 and am so happy to be home, though it felt weird at first after being gone so much longer than we thought I'd be. I miss my baby, but she's better off for right now being where she can be held and taken better care of than I can give in my condition. I've never been away from her for this long before. So, it wasn't my appendix, but if I ever get pains like this again, we know what it isn't from, so that will narrow it. I'm thinking it was an ovarian cyst burst, but I have no idea since I've never had one, but what else could have brought on such awful, intense lower abdominal pain? Hopefully I won't have it again and won't have to worry about it. It's interesting when these kinds of things happen to find out just how much people care. My next door neighbor made us some yummy soup for dinner, and lots of people have offered to help with Ella or anything else I might need. It means a lot, especially since I know they're being sincere (I've known far too many people who were all talk, but didn't ever mean it). My father-in-law was so concerned he kept calling my mother-in-law yesterday about what was going on (he was out of town), then stopped by tonight with flowers and chocolate and to check on me. It's overwhelming to feel so cared about. Thank you everyone, it really means a lot to me!

December Happenings 2011

I had the urge to write in the blog, but I didn't really want to just go over our Christmas activities. But since that's all I can think of, that's what I'll do (I'm not too original). December is usually such a busy month, this year was no different. We even had to skip ice skating with Jer's family (which we've never missed) because my family party was already planned. We went ice skating and to a big party with some of our friends. (me, Meredith, Lisa)

(Jer (has a mustache because of a work thing, we know it's creepy looking!), Dave, Matt)

(me, Ashley, Sexy Santa, Lisa, Meredith)

I went to see one of our friends in "The Nutcracker", it was my very first time seeing it! So cute! (me, Ashley, Lisa)

We had other friends come in town that we haven't seen in awhile and got to spend time with them. We got yummy goodies from neighbors, and gave out cute magnetic list paper (because it doesn't make you gain weight). With Jer's family, we had a Polar Express party, which was fun as usual. Along with watching part of the movie, having hot cocoa, and a sock/snowball fight, the kids also got to decorate their grandparents as Christmas trees. They were good sports and the kids had a good time with it. (Don't tell that I posted the pic!)

We also had a visit from Auntie Claus, but we didn't have our camera :( We got a cool melon cutter, and Ella got some activity packets and toys, and a cute little outfit. My family Christmas party included yummy food (everyone brought something healthy this year!), singing, chatting, games, white elephant exchange, and the live nativity. It's crazy how many kids there are now that all us cousins are getting married and having kids of our own.

Christmas Eve was the annual party at Jer's aunt's house. We had yummy food, a white elephant exchange, and a visit from Santa!

Christmas morning we opened presents and went to church. Ella loved the kitchen Santa brought her!

For New Year's, we made plans with some of our friends. We went to Harvest Restaurant at Thanksgiving Pointe for dinner (yum). (Matt, Meredith, me, Jer, Mike, Ashley, Lisa, Dave)

After dinner we went to our friend's house where I made warm melting cakes. (not sure what Jer's laughing at here)

We played a game, chatted, had a countdown, and drank sparkling cider. It was such a fun night spent with some fun people. And I forgot to mention, one of my friends gave Ella her very first haircut a couple days before Christmas. I don't know if you can tell, but it's pretty shaggy in some of the pics from before the cut. She has bangs now and she's looking so much more like a little girl.