Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Awkward

Sometimes I feel like I'm the most awkward person I know. Seriously. I think this contributes to my social anxiety/fear/distrust of people. But I realized something recently when talking to some of my cousins (who also think they are awkward), and if I keep it in mind it might help me (and possibly you) in the future. Or maybe you already knew? Shame on you for not sharing! jk
I think everyone feels a certain level of awkwardness. Even the people you think have it all together and make their life look like it's perfect and running smoothly and they know what they're doing. Yes, even them, they have an awkward side too. The sooner we all realize that we're all a little awkward, maybe we'll be less afraid to talk to each other and connect.
But this doesn't fix dealing with the 'mean' people or the people who just don't like being in social situations for the most part (I'm looking at my husband on that one). That will likely always be awkward or uncomfortable.
And what about the people who you thought were your friends but apparently you just took up time till something better came along for them? Well they were just a phase in your life. There might always be some awkwardness there. It's situations like this that make me extra wary of people. It takes a lot for me to warm up and trust someone. I had a BIG wall up when I met my husband, he was patient and broke it down :) But if I come off as cold or unfriendly, I don't mean to. I'm just wary and afraid of being hurt yet again.

And I'm awkward and afraid of embarrassing myself.

Now here's a picture of my 'awkward' cousins and me showing off our weird elbows in an awkward picture: