Saturday, June 4, 2011


Ever have one of those days where you go over in your head the conversations that you had throughout the day and wonder if you were the dreaded 'me-monster'? Did I talk too much about myself, did I make everything about me? Did I sound so stupid? Am I over-reacting? (probably yes to that last one)
Well, I've had one of those weeks. Maybe it's my social anxiety that makes me stress over my interactions with other people, thinking that they must judge/hate me because I'm so weird or annoying or say all the wrong things or focus too much on myself (in reality I don't know if that's true or not). Sadly, past experiences of things people said about me to my face have made me more paranoid than I should be, on top of my anxiety disorder (I've been told that I'm annoying, not wanted around, weird, etc.).
So how do you tell the difference? How do you know if people genuinely care and want to talk to you? This seems to be an issue I've had my whole life, trying to figure out who's fake and who's genuine. What's the secret to knowing?
I guess I could try to not care, but I think we all know that's not gonna happen.

In other news, Ella walks! It's all she does anymore, it's so crazy to watch her. She falls (a lot) and I figure she'll crawl since she's already down, but she pushes herself back up and keeps walking around looking drunk! We had to put a gate up at the stairs too, I knew the day would come, but she's been so disinterested in them for so long I was sorta thinking we'd never need a gate. I was wrong.

Our yard was supposed to be started a couple of weeks ago and finished by the end of May, but because of the rain nothing's happened yet. Hopefully they'll get started on Monday. I'll be sure to post before and after pictures (our weeds are actually quite impressive from all the rain, but I don't see in any point of pulling them because there are SO MANY and the landscapers will be taking care of them anyway). We'll be getting sprinklers put in, then top-soil, then grass and plants and rocks. I'm REALLY wanting lilacs (they're my favorite flower)

and a dwarf weeping cherry tree (because they're so cute and pretty).
I'm excited for it to be finished so Ella and I can have picnics in the grass instead of on the driveway!


Roberts Family said...

Sometimes I think those same things! A few hours after having a conversation I wonder if I just verbally threw up all over them with a bunch of stuff they never cared to know or If I didn't allow them the time they needed to talk. Other times I can't think of anything to say and I worry they felt I wasn't interested in what they are saying!! If it matters any I love hanging out and talking with you!

It will be so great to have a yard especially since Ella is walking!

Kimberlyn said...

Love the trees, hope your yard is coming along!