The wave

I've been debating if I should write about this or not. I don't want to come off ungrateful, rude, insensitive, too sensitive, whiney, etc. but this has been weighing on me and I'm hoping writing about it will get it out of my head. And besides, it's not like that many people actually read my blog.

The wave is upon us. The wave of pregnancy announcements, that is. They're all around me. Friends, family, neighbors, acquaintances. Everywhere I look someone is announcing a new baby. It's very exciting, I'm truly happy for them (ok, most of them). But it's also very depressing. People are on their 2nd pregnancies since I had Ella. Yes, SECOND pregnancy and she's almost 3. I'm jealous. I'm sad. I'm frustrated. I'm trying to stay brave and count my blessings. I'm so incredibly grateful for Ella, don't get me wrong, but she's at the point where she needs a sibling, and I'm feeling like someone is missing from my heart.
I know there are so many others that don't have what I have, I hurt for them as well, and it makes me feel bad, almost greedy, to want another baby so badly when they are working so hard just to have one. I know how that feels, I was there once.
There's not much anyone can do to help me. The announcements just sting, especially when it's from people 'close' to you and you aren't given the courtesy of a heads-up, instead you're blind-sided by the news from someone who should have had the decency and known to let you know so the public announcement wouldn't hurt as much. Strangely when those courtesy heads-up notes are given, the announcement doesn't hurt as much, or at all.
Now, I don't mean for people to start walking on eggshells around me, but here's a tip: if you're pregnant and have a close friend who is having infertility problems (even if they pretend to be ok), PLEASE give them the courtesy of a heads-up before you make your big announcement on Facebook, in a public gathering, or wherever. It might be hard, but it could save your relationship and gain you respect for doing so.
Obviously this is a hot topic for me. I've had a bad couple of weeks. On top of finding out I'm still not pregnant after my pills gave me all the symptoms, I'm waiting to find out if I have glaucoma. I'm trying not to worry about that, but it scares me to think I may have to be on meds the rest of my life so I don't go blind.

Well, now that's out in the open hopefully I'll feel a little lighter. And hopefully I haven't offended anyone, I'm not especially good with the whole 'written-word' thing.

Memorial Day Weekend

For Memorial Day Weekend we went to St. George with our friends, Chris and Joanna. We had a great time.

We got frozen custard at Nielsen's....

Went to dinner with Chris and Joanna....

Went sight-seeing....

Saw Jacob Hamblin's house....

Got artistic with my photography....
Window-shopped and saw cute plates....

And.... 

wrecked on a Vino scooter.....

Those are shots of my legs and feet. Luckily I didn't break any bones, it just hurts to walk. Also, the bruises are even worse looking now-lucky me.

Besides that, we had a good weekend.

Surgery

Well, I guess I'll write a bit about the surgery I had Fri. March 21. I had been told my check-in time to the hospital would be 10:30 a.m, but on the morning of the surgery, I got a call at 8:50 saying the Dr. was fast this morning and they needed me in as soon as I could get there. Turns out we ended up getting to the hospital 10 min. before my original check-in time because Jer still had to get ready and traffic was insane for that time of day.
After getting checked by nurses and getting the i.v. in, I was wheeled into the operating room where I was put on the operating table and had my limbs wrapped in egg foam thingies while the anesthesiologist was making my vision all weird. Next thing I knew, I was waking up in the recovery room with a nurse who wouldn't pay attention and a bladder that needed major attention. I was finally wheeled to patient recovery where I was reunited with Jer who had pretty exciting news. The Dr. had told him the surgery went well and that he got all of the septum out. We need to see him in one week to get the balloon out of my uterus and then we'll be on our way. Jer asked if we'd need to see him in another couple of months like last time but the Dr. said no. No more testing, no more surgery. After 2 months, we can start trying to start our family again.
This time around I have more cuts on my belly because I'm participating in a study that will hopefully give the Dr's more answers to why and how women get uterine problems. While under anesthesia and getting the surgery done, the assistants took a fat sample from my lower abdomen, a stomach lining sample from the side of my abdomen, as well as some uterine lining samples.
While still at the hospital, I was pretty sick from the anesthetic, which made my abdominal pain that much worse. The nurse gave me as much pain killer in my i.v. as she was allowed, but nothing seemed to help, she was really nice and felt pretty bad though. Eventually the nurse's shift was over and a new nurse came in. She was so fake I couldn't stand it and she only made me feel worse. As soon as she came in she was trying to get me to get dressed to go home. I understand I needed to do that, but I was trying to explain that I was in too much pain from throwing up and needed to get the pain back to a level I could handle. She pretty much ignored me and told me to start getting dressed anyway. Not until she witnessed me getting sick and crying and dying of pain did she finally leave me alone about going home and try to help.
Finally, I was released from the hospital and Jer and I got home around 6:30 or 7. He helped me walk in to our condo(last time he carried me) and I've been in bed ever since. I do get up and walk around a little, I'm supposed to, but I haven't left home since Fri. I'm so bored and uncomfortable. I just have to remember that it eventually gets better, so I just have give it time and have a little patience.
Thanks for the all the support and concern!