A Tribute to my Grandma

My last living blood grandparent passed away Saturday, June 6, 2009 after struggling with colon cancer that had spread to her liver, and eventually took her life. She'll be greatly missed, but we are so happy that she is out of her failing body and in a MUCH better place with her husband and other loved ones who have passed on before her.

She was a smart, funny, talented, loving, incredible person. Her mind was sharp till the very end. She loved her family, she loved playing games, she loved to sew. She stood up for what she believed in. She was patient and kind. She encouraged and taught when needed, but she was never overbearing. She spoiled us kids with love and generosity and guidance, and every so often she'd spoil us with treats too. As I got older, I wanted my kids to be able to know her because she was such a great Grandma, but as time has passed, that wish diminished. I asked her to tell them to hurry up and get down here when she got up there. I'm happy to know that my kids have gotten to meet her now, just not how I planned before.

She was the Best Grandma a girl could have.

I remember having sleepovers at her house when I was little, she'd let me watch movies and have junk food, or she'd read me a story and tuck me in. I used to hate the peanut butter sandwiches she'd make because she'd put a bunch of butter on the bread, and then put peanut butter on-it was weird and not so tasty, but a funny memory to have now, and a sweet quirk to remember about her. Another funny thing I should mention is that one time she was talking and Jer cut her off. She looked at him sternly, but with a twinkle in her eye, and said "Shut up, Jeremy!" We laughed so hard at that because it was so unexpected, and someone needed to call Jer on his bad manners!
She was an amazing homemaker, and has made many quilts, even won some awards for a few of them. She made the best chocolate covered marshmallow eggs at Easter, even the marshmallows were made from scratch!
She amazed me.
She led an incredible life, from living through WWII and the depression, dating and breaking many hearts (being engaged more than once), going to USO dances, to getting married and settling down and having 7 kids (raising them all to be wonderful people who are strong in the church), going on a mission to Shreveport, Louisiana, and to being a wonderful Grandmother and knowing all that we were up to and supporting us when she could.
My main regret is not spending more time with her.
I know my words cannot do her justice, but at least I've scratched the surface.
I love you Grandma, and I'll see you again some day!

Something to hold on to/hold us over

This is just something I felt like sharing. I don't know who wrote it, but Jer's sister, Jenny, sent it to me to help us get through our difficult days.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I know you think I'll never come
But it's just that my work here's not done
There's just so much I need to know
Before I come to earth to grow
So don't give up, I'm on my way
Even though it may not be today
I cannot wait to be loved by you
For you to teach me all that's true
And although I am anxious
I'll patiently wait
'Cause I'm promised to you
And I think that's GREAT!

Love,
Me

Here's to 'some day'

Hiatus

Well, some of you may have noticed that we haven't posted anything for awhile. I thought I should just put up this post to announce our break from blogging. Jer has banned me from reading other blogs as well (most, not all) as some of them are really hard for me/us to read, so we won't be in the blogosphere for awhile.
We'll be back someday, we're just not sure when exactly.

Have a good next few months!

Catch Up

It was brought to my attention, by my lovely friend and old roommate Becky, that I haven't blogged for awhile, and that I'd better get on it. I had no idea what to blog about, but after looking through the camera, I realized I had a little catching up to do, so here you go Becky, and any other fans I may have out there.

So awhile back I promised you a picture of my first attempt at a decorated cake, so here it is. It was winter themed, and I made a lot of really cute little intricate snowflakes and trees, but sadly most of them broke when I tried to move them, so I ended up with dots, star snowflakes, and swirls and a few little extras. Jer's family thought it looked great though, so that was enough for me. It was fun to make, and even more importantly, it tasted delicious.

Next up is the lunch I had with 2 of my old roommates from my first year at Snow College, Becky and FayLyn. FayLyn was in town from Michigan for the holidays and to bless her newest baby, so we hung out at her parent's house and had soup, crackers, Christmas goodies, and we chatted, and played with FayLyn's 2 cute little girls. Sadly our other roomies couldn't make it, one had just had a baby, one lives in Washington state, and the other one-well I think she might be back in Japan? Anyway, it was so fun to get together, even if it was just half of us. Here are a couple of old college pictures, and then the picture we took at the lunch more recently!
Cinnamon Roll Hug- Christal, Becky, Courtney, FayLyn, me, Melissa, Tarah and Ribekah


Becky pretending to be scary, and me pretending to be scared

me, FayLyn, and Becky

There's not any easy way to bring this next one up, and it's a very sad subject for us. The end of January we found out I was pregnant (yes, we took pictures, no, I'm not going to post them), we were so excited that the insemination had worked, but extremely nervous and cautious too. We wanted to keep it a secret til we got to 12 weeks, but we did tell a few people. It seemed things were going fine up until a couple weeks ago when I started spotting. We know this is a normal thing, but it made me nervous, so I had Jer give me a blessing (which left me waiting for something to happen), and did the 48 hr blood test to make sure my hcg levels were still rising. We found out that they were, and that they were high enough to check the heart. We went in for an ultrasound, but we weren't able to see anything. The Dr. wanted to see me a few days later to make sure the heart was actually there, so we went in Feb. 9 for another ultrasound where we found out the baby had stopped growing. I had a blighted ovum, meaning everything else was still growing (which is why my hcg levels were still rising), but the baby had essentially died. I was distraught at this news, but at the same time we were both expecting this to happen. The next day I went in for a D&C so the passing wouldn't become a problem. Jer's been really good about consoling me, but it's still been really difficult. That's now 2 miscarriages and 3 surgeries, I'm really hoping this is it for the heartache part because I can't handle any more. It's been hard enough trying to get back to normal from the surgeries, then not being able to get pregnant at all. Then we do get pregnant and this happens, I'm afraid this is the only ending I'll have whenever I'm pregnant. Anyway, we're ok, I'm just trying to get through this and lie low till I'm all healed up. Hopefully our next one will be successful (cross your fingers/pray for us). We're lucky to live where we do where we're surrounded by family and good friends to help us through. My beautiful flowers from my friend Denice are still blooming, and my cousin and his wife, Matt and Kate, brought us dinner and cookies the night of the D&C and helped cheer me up.

Sorry to end on a depressing note, but that's it for now. We hope you all had a good Valentine's day.

We finally have an answer, YAY!!!

This month I changed OB/GYNs and we did the insemination. After the procedure, the Dr (who is absolutely wonderful) talked to me a little about what tests I've had and haven't done. He decided we should do what he called a "day 22 blood test", so last Friday I went in for a blood test to check my thyroid and progesterone. Why my specialist never thought to run this test, I don't know, and I have been pretty upset with him about it since I got the results. But after having vented on Facebook and getting a few reactions and words of wisdom, I'm trying to just chalk it up to life experience. Although, it has been a painful, depressing, anxiety-filled 8 months we went through (not including nearly a year and a half for surgeries), for what seems like nothing because it probably could have been mostly avoided. Anyway, the results of the test were that my thyroid is fine, but my progesterone is a little low-at about a 10, and the Dr said it's best if it's over 15. This is the reason we haven't been able to get pregnant yet, and if I did get pregnant, then it would have ended up in an early miscarriage. But, this is not a big problem, it's easily fixed. All I have to do is start taking progesterone and then if I get pregnant, continue on it for the first 3 months. Simple as that. So why is it that a reproductive endocronoligist specialist never thought to check that and wanted to go directly to the bigger procedures? We may never know, but at least we found out what's wrong and how to fix it and hopefully we can move on and end up with a baby finally!

Our Christmas Festivities

Wow, I can't believe it's come and gone already! It seems like I only just put up the tree!
Sorry there aren't any pics of any of this (at least not yet), but here's a little of what we did...
The Monday the week before Christmas we went ice skating with Jer's family, then to the Pie for some yummy pizza. Every year we go ice skating, and I love that tradition of theirs, it's so fun to get all bundled up and attempt to glide around various ice skating rinks and watch the nieces and nephews. We also had an office party with Jer's brokerage where they did a white elephant gift exchange, and we ended up with a 24 oz can of beer, it was quite a shock to pull it out of the bag!
The Monday before Christmas was a party on my mom's side, it's usually really fun, but there was some unexpected/shocking news from one of my cousins which sorta ruined the party for many of us and really upset me, but it gave me some extra bonding time with my grandma (who's dying of liver cancer) and one of my aunts who has gone through what Jer and I are going through now.
Christmas Eve we were expecting to end up with Jer's fam at his Aunt Shirley's but my family decided to do a last minute Christmas Eve dinner, so we went and hung out at my parent's house (since we don't do as much with my side as we do with Jer's), had a nice ham dinner, and enjoyed each other's company. Jer also had me open a present, it was "Sleeping Beauty", which I'd asked for a few months ago, I was so excited to get it!
Christmas morning was lazy for us. We got up around 8:30ish and opened our presents. Jer got "X-Files: I Want to Believe", "The Dark Knight", and "Pirates of the Great Salt Lake". I/we got a Wii Fit (I wanted it REALLY bad, but Jer plays on it too). So far I've really enjoyed having it, and it's been fun learning yoga and working out on it.
After opening our stuff at home, we went to Jer's parent's house and had a big Christmas brunch there with some extended family. When it came time for the presents, the kids went into the usual frenzy, and the family room was covered in wrapping paper and boxes. It came time for the adults, strangely there was only 1 thing under the tree for me and nothing for Jer. Turns out my mother-in-law had hidden our presents because they were too big to wrap.... Jer got a telescope (yay for him, it seems really nice), and I got a KitchenAid standing mixer!!! I almost cried when I saw it I was so excited. I was up until 2 a.m. making a cake and the frosting decorations for it (pics to come eventually) because I was SO excited. After we settled down from that, we headed to Jer's step-grandma's to give her her present-a hankie I embroidered her initial on, I think it turned out pretty.
The day after Christmas we went to Jer's family's cabin outside Oakley, and hung out with the family there and came back Saturday. I was sick when we got back, so Jer's first official day of being 2nd Elder's Quorum President he was flying solo at church (Oh yeah, I forgot to announce that...now you know, pretty crazy stuff).
So as you can see, it was a pretty busy month. Now all we need to figure out is what we're going to do for New Year's Eve.
Also, since I didn't get the one thing that I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted more than anything else, we're planning on doing our first try on insemination in January sometime, so wish us luck.
We hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!

P.S. Oh yeah, since I've been wanting a sewing machine, my mom told my grandma and she wants me to have hers... SCORE!

Just for you

Merry Christmas! We hope you enjoy our elf dances- and don't expect to see these moves outside of the computer!
Don't forget to pause the music at the bottom so you can get the most out of your viewing experience!