The newest member of our family

I haven't gotten around to loading the pictures from the 'fancy camera', so there won't be many hospital shots, but I thought I'd at least get my thoughts out while they were somewhat fresh about the birth.

When I found out at my 38 week check up that the baby had turned into breech position, I got REALLY nervous. I was worried about her cord choking her, I was afraid she wouldn't turn back and I'd have to have a c-section, I was afraid no matter what happened, things wouldn't end up well. I was a little bit of a basket-case (again).

Since having a breech birth is against the law at my hospital, and against the malpractice insurance my Dr. has, there was no way we'd go that route. Even if it wasn't against the law, I'm fairly CERTAIN I couldn't have delivered her vaginally from my history. Our first baby had a larger than normal head, if that was going to be the case with this baby, it would make for an even more dangerous delivery, something I wasn't willing to risk.

I went in to the hospital just before I was 39 weeks to try an External Cephalic Version (ECV), basically externally turning the baby. After lots of painful attempts to turn her or twist her or push her, she wouldn't budge. But she could still turn on her own.

So we prayed, I got a blessing from my husband, and I freaked out even more. I tried talking to her about moving, I tried taking warm baths and putting frozen peas on my stomach where her head was (to hopefully get her to move to a warmer spot), I tried inverting my super pregnant self. The only thing that seemed to get her to budge a little was the bath. I could tell she was trying to move but something was keeping her from getting to where she needed to be. I'd done what I could, whatever was going to happen was out of my hands.

I got a blessing from my dad and Jer and I felt some peace that things would end up going the way they were supposed to to get our sweet baby here, whatever way that may be.

39 1/2 weeks I had my final maternity appointment. It was the moment of truth, either she'd turned on her own and we were waiting for labor to start, or she hadn't turned yet and we'd make an appointment for a c-section.
Most of you know which it was. We scheduled the c-section for the next day, 2 days before my due date. I didn't want a c-section, but I was at peace with it, I knew it was what needed to happen.

Feb. 5 at 10 a.m. we went to the hospital to get checked in and prepped. At 12 I was in the O.R. just getting the prep finished up. I was nervous, but calm at the same time. Scared for myself, but excited to finally meet our baby. I'm guessing Jer was feeling pretty similar.
I was scared about having surgery while awake, I was scared that I'd be one of the minority who had complications during surgery. Or even worse,something would happen to the baby.

Luckily, I have the BEST Dr. (even the nurses all say so) and everything went fine. Our baby was 'born' at 12:22 p.m, 6 lbs. 10 oz, 20.5 inches long. Jer didn't want to watch any of it, but he said it was like a car wreck, he just couldn't look away. He glanced toward the incision, then back at me all excited, "There's a foot!". She took a little extra to get out because she was pretty tangled up. Her legs were crossed and her arms were wrapped to her upper body/head with her umbilical cord. I didn't see any of this, it's just what they told me. Yet another reason having her breech was out of the question. Thankfully I'd had blessings which gave me the comfort and peace I needed to trust things would go well.

Obviously I'm still recovering, it's only been a few days, but I'm so happy to have our sweet baby here safe and sound. And even though she's pretty much perfect in every way, they did detect a slight irregularity in her heart beat, so I'll be taking her to a cardiologist to make sure it's nothing serious. The Drs and nurses at the hospital said she'll probably grow out of it in a couple of months, but it's better to be 100% sure. We'll also need to take her in for an ultrasound of her hips because of being in breech position so late in the pregnancy, that can sometimes cause problems with the joints.

I'm so in love with my little family, I couldn't feel more blessed. Thank you so much to everyone for the love, support and prayers; they were felt.

Oh yeah, and apparently our girls are just twins born a few years apart :)

Changes!?!

Big changes are happening around here.
As in body changes and work changes and school changes.

First of all, most people know I'm pregnant again, YAY! 13 weeks now, to be exact. Due Feb. 7.
Let me dive into this a little bit for a minute.
Many of you know that we've had infertility issues. We had surgeries and early miscarriages and testing and waiting and frustration before we got our miracle, Ella. This time around was a little simpler. We didn't have to do any testing, I didn't need any surgeries, and luckily we didn't experience any more early miscarriages (that we know of), but we did have to wait. It took a little over a year and a half. I know that's nothing compared to a lot of couples in our shoes. I know we're extremely blessed, I FEEL extremely blessed. But the waiting game is hard. It's made more frustrating when you're on progesterone which gives you pregnant-like symptoms too (which I was on for Ella and this baby). Every month I had to ignore what I was feeling because I knew it wasn't real, even though I hoped it was.
The week leading up to finding out I was pregnant, I felt at peace with Ella being an only child. I've never wanted just one child, I've never thought I'd have an only child, but I was feeling ok with that prospect for the first time in my life. Then I got the positive. I was shocked. And happy. And scared to death that I'd have another early miscarriage.
So far I've seen the baby twice and heard it once. Everything looks good! We find out the gender Sept. 19th, I can't wait.

Ella's excited about being a big sister, she talks about how she'll feed the baby and play with the baby and teach the baby...she's going to be such a wonderful big sister. There will be nearly 4 years between them. She's pretty sure the baby is a girl, but any time we suggest it could be a boy she can't seem to fathom that possibility. We'll see.

Secondly, work changes. For me, Julianna. I've been at the same company for over 10 years. 10 YEARS! It's a little crazy to think I've been there that long. At first, the idea of getting a different job scared me to death. I'm so comfortable working from home, I've been doing it for 5 years. I don't want to leave Ella (and the baby in the future). Applying and going to a job interview was a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing, I didn't think much would come of it. But I was hired, on the spot. I was so nervous and scared and worried I cried when I got home just thinking about leaving Ella (and the baby). I blame the hormones. I'm more comfortable and excited about the change now that it's sunk in though. And thinking about the reasons I applied in the first place make me happy to leave my current job (reliable work hours, reliable pay, no mandatory overtime, etc). It will be hard to leave Ella, but she'll be in good hands (her grandma's and one of our neighbor's). She'll get more attention while I'm working away from home than she has while I've been working at home, which is really sad to say.
So, my last day is tomorrow. I'm a little giddy. My first day is Wed, Aug. 7. I'll be working in the afternoon-evenings part-time. We're hoping that this won't be for very long though, the ultimate goal is for me to truly be a stay-at-home mom, but until then we do what we've gotta do. Wish me luck!

Third, school. Jer is still going to UVU, but I'm not talking about him. I'm talking about Ella! She's going to be starting preschool this month! I'm so excited for her and she's pretty excited too! It's a preschool in our neighborhood and she'll go for 2 hrs. two days a week. I think she's going to love being with other kids her age and learning fun, new things. She's also going to be starting back up in a jazz/tumbling dance class, so she's got a busy schedule coming up. Luckily all her stuff is in the morning so I can take her and spend time with her afterward talking about what she learned and all that good stuff.


We hope you're all having a great summer!

She's here!

Ella was born Friday, March 26, 2010 at 2:31 p.m. She weighed 7 lbs. 9 oz. and was 19 1/2 inches long. She has hair, it's a little shaggy in the back even, though it's lighter than we expected-more light brown, but at times it almost looks auburnish. We can't be happier that she's finally here, although this last week has been extremely surreal.
I'm guessing people will want to hear the story, so here it is:
On Friday morning at about 3:10, I woke up with a majorly painful stomach cramp that went away after maybe 10 seconds. I'd had contractions the day before, but nothing too strong or worth watching the clock for, but about 7 minutes later I got another contraction, and then 7 min. after that I got another one and they were lasting longer. I couldn’t sleep through them, so I decided to get up and work. I figured that if these were real labor pains, and since it’s my first baby, that I wouldn’t need to worry about going to the hospital for another 7 or more hours. Boy was I wrong. In the space of working 40 minutes, my contractions quickly got closer and closer together, when they were fluctuating around 4 and 5 min. apart. I woke Jer up and told him we needed to go to the hospital. He didn’t really believe me and didn’t really want to get up, I can’t blame him though, I wasn’t really sure if we should go or not either since we didn’t know if they’d just say it was false labor and send us home, although the contractions felt pretty dang real to me.
We got to the hospital around 5:45 (my contractions were fluctuating between 2 and 4 min apart at that point) where they put me in a room for observation. I wouldn’t be admitted as a patient until it was confirmed that I was in active labor, but luckily my water sort of broke while I was laying there contracting, so they had to keep me after that. They started my I.V. and Jer and I tried to rest while we could. It was the strangest feeling knowing we'd have a baby by late afternoon, especially since we actually had plans for that weekend since we were just expecting to have her on the 30th-oh well, having our baby topped anything else we could have done.They started me on pitocin to help labor progress more steadily, and I stuck it out without the epidural until about 10:45, by that time I was dying every time the contractions would come and didn't think it was worth it to endure the pain just to be 'tough'. (I don't understand how the breathing technique you learn is supposed to help, it did nothing to calm me down when the contractions came-I guess it's just supposed to put your mind on something else?)
The Dr. came in and checked me every so often, along with the nurses. I was slowly progressing, and the Dr. said we'd probably have the baby around 4 or 5. Another time he checked me he said that I'd probably be pushing for 1 or 2 hrs, so I was extra relieved to have the epidural to try to get at least a little rest before the hard work started. At almost 2 p.m. I started feeling like something was changing, so I told the nurse, and right before she was going to check me, the Dr. came in to see my progress. To our surprise he said that I was fully dilated and ready to push. Jer and I looked at each other thinking the same thing...."already?". The Dr. left to get changed, and the nurses got things set up so I could start pushing. I was surprised they had me pushing when the Dr. wasn't there, but my nurse reassured me that he'd be back in time to 'catch her'. Jer even helped the nurse while I was pushing. The Dr. came back and helped Ella come into the world after only about 25 minutes of me pushing. I couldn't believe she was finally here, but I also was having a hard time believing she was ours, she had such a round head! She was much bigger than any of us thought she'd be (by nearly a lb.) the Dr. even asked where I had been hiding her. She also had a bigger head than my body could handle, so I had to get 3rd degree stitches (the scale goes to 4), but she's perfect and amazing and healthy, and that's all that matters (as long as I can still take care of her in my condition too). I love her so much that I cry when I think about it and how grateful I am to finally have her. She really is our little miracle baby, our little angel. Jer has been amazing, he's such a good daddy and does so much to help me out with her. He'll hate that I'm typing this, but he's so cute with her, we're so lucky to have him.She sleeps like crazy, but not so much at night, which has made it a little hard to deal with life, but we're adjusting. I know I should sleep when she sleeps, but it's hard to not just pass the time staring at her, she's such a marvel. She nurses pretty well for the most part, it's just hard to keep her awake and keep her mouth open wide enough when she does (if anyone has any suggestions they'd like to share, I'm open to new things to try; I feel like I've tried just about everything I've read).Thanks to everyone for the support and love, we've been well taken care of, and Ella is definitely adored and spoiled.


On another note, Jer's still looking for a job, so if anyone has any leads, they'd be much appreciated (he's looking for something to do with customer service/support, possibly marketing or something like that).

So much

Well, I was waiting for more pictures from my other showers to post more, but I haven't gotten any (which is my fault) so this will have to be a picture-less post, hopefully it won't be too long and boring.

The Sat. after my Dr. Seuss shower, I had a friends/old co-workers shower. There were 5 of us there and my long-time friend Joanna threw it for me at Mimi's Cafe. It was very laid back and nice to see everyone, especially since I work from home now, I never see co-workers or ex-co-workers anymore. I got some really great gifts and Joanna made me a super cute diaper cake. I regret I didn't take any pictures of it before I started taking it apart when I got it home (hint hint Joanna, I need pictures!). It had a bunch of baby odds and ends on it, along with lots of cute little hair clips, which for some reason I was extra excited about!

The following Sat. a bunch of ladies from my ward threw me a great shower. Sadly a few people couldn't make it, but they were sweet enough to drop gifts off at our door. Back to the shower, there was great food (Tori knows me and my salad taste too well, Denice makes awesome cookies and Elisa and April seem to know that I've been on a major fruits and veggies kick lately). April had us play a couple of fun matching games (which worked out for all of us, we all got prizes) and everyone was so sweet and gave us some really great, useful, and cute stuff!

The Sat. after that (this past Sat.) was my family shower that one of my sisters-in-law, Lorie, threw for me. She's the sweetest, we're so lucky to have such awesome family. There was good food and some fun guessing and matching games. I got lots of wonderful things and a few beautiful quilts (I didn't seem to get the crafting gene, but luckily it runs elsewhere in the family). I love being able to get together with my aunts and cousins, my mom's side has always been really close and I LOVE it (which isn't to say I don't love my dad's side, I just don't get to see them as often).
Phew, 4 showers in a row, I think I'm all showered out, but I'm so grateful for everyone's generosity and love! We're so lucky, and can I just say this baby is so spoiled and she's not even here yet?

The last few days we've been trying to get the last minute things so that we're not completely scrambling when she does come. We're slowly getting closer to being as ready as we can be. At least we know she'll be dressed, warm, fed, clean, and of course LOVED!

Here's my progression so far if you're interested, if not then just don't read this part:
Week 36: Total weight gain 21 lbs, 70% effaced, 1/2 cm dilated, she's so low the Dr. can touch her head. Lots of Braxton-Hicks contractions.
Week 37: Same as week 36
Week 38: Total weight gain 22 lbs, 80% effaced, 1 cm dilated, baby just seems to get lumpier and lower. I'm pretty sure I'm going to miss being able to feel her move around after she's born, I love that she's been so active. The Braxton-Hicks seem to have backed off a bit, but the back pain and pelvic separation are enough for me to try to handle right now.
Week 39 (yesterday's appointment): Same as last week. Baby's really low. Dr. said he'll induce me on my due date if she hasn't come by then! Ella will be here by March 30 no matter what!

After the appointment last week, we stopped at Jer's parents and got to meet our newest nephew (he's SO cute) as well as get our car-seat and stroller (having those definitely is making things seem that much more real).

Well, with the way I've been posting lately, it's very possible I won't post again until after the baby's born, but I'm sure there will be LOTS and LOTS of pictures and video for that one! Stay tuned!

Feeling Blessed, but Seriously Stressed

Most of you know (thanks to Facebook) that Jer lost his job nearly 2 weeks ago. It was SO unexpected and out of nowhere that we were feeling pretty shocked. It has been a hard past 2 weeks. I've had to learn to not worry too much because I can tell the baby doesn't like it. The day he was let go I had some contractions and they freaked me out a little (even though I know they're normal-but when they're induced by stress, that can't be a good thing). Jer has felt this is something he's needing to go through and learn from. He's gone to workshops and seminars, and has learned a lot and has been sprucing up his resume and a blog he put together to show what he can do with graphic stuff (Click to see his Portfolio and Marketing blogs. Pass them along to anyone you think can help.)
In the midst of this situation we've felt pretty lucky though. Lucky that the car accident happened in Nov, he wasn't hurt and we got a decent amount of money from it. That money was going towards our house fund, but we think now that it'll come in handy with helping us get by until Jer gets a job. We're also lucky that we have the internet, and within minutes of posting on our status' that Jer was out of a job, we both had tons of responses in our inboxes and in comments. Our neighbors have given him leads and offered help, even passed his resume along. We're lucky I still have a job, and that I can do it from home (though it won't cover our expenses, it's still something).
So in the midst of this trial, we know things could be much much worse and we're counting our blessings.
Now I just need to learn to stop stressing that we still have everything left to get for the baby except clothes.

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts, prayers and help with the job hunt, we are so blessed to know you.

The Baby

As many of you already know, we found out what our baby is this past week. It was Jer's first time to an appointment with me, so he'd never seen the baby live on the ultrasound. He kept saying how weird it was that there was this little baby moving around in me. When the ultrasound tech told us what we were having, he was a little disbelieving. Not because it wasn't what he wanted, but because he didn't really know what he was looking at on the screen, so the tech got lots of good pictures/positions to prove that she's 100% positive that our baby is a GIRL! We, of course, are super excited. I'm so relieved that everything looks normal on her too.
It's fitting that we're having a girl, a boy would have been fun too, but that's all either side of our families is having these days. We even just found out that we'll be getting another nephew on my side around the same time, along with the nephew on Jer's side just a few weeks before. Our little girl (wow, that's still a little weird to say) will be surrounded by boy cousins her age, they'll be fun to watch.
After watching the DVD of the ultrasound, I realized why I've been extra sore lately, and not just where the ligaments are stretching. Our sweet little girl looks to be a kick-boxer, and even though I can't feel all of her movement, apparently I can feel the after-effects of them.
I wanted to post some of the ultrasound pictures, but our scanner is being mean and not working, so I'll try to post them another time.
20 weeks down, 20 to go!